範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points

Learning English through Workplace Communication 

(中譯加班成風禍害與建議)

2013 DSE P2 Q6 (Mock)

Your boss has found that many people are working in the office overtime. You are asked to write an article describing the situation, discussing the negative impacts, and suggesting remedies to this. 

(about 400 words)

 

2013 IELTS (Mock)

Your manager has observed that many subordinates are staying in the office very late. You are asked to write an article for the company newsletter, describing this phenomenon, harmful impacts, and give suggestions to improve the situation.  

 (250 words or above)

 

如要詳細了解文中所用的符號及說明,請按此了解【免費DSE英文,IELTS寫作技巧詳解及範文】

 

 

A) 思緒草搞(寫作前): Draft ‘Organization & Content’ before Writing

PPB 三段爆點思維(mindset)   【什麼是PPB三層爆點法(廣東話按此)(普通話按此)】

1. Popularity: 很多人都OT,成生活常態。

2. Purpose: 有些人是搏出位,顯示出能為公司賣命。(心態)

3. Being(內在特性): 引出2topic sentences 

I. Intro:

寫出【現現象】(Popularity +Purpose來建構)

【表】顯出立場

The extra time you put in is taking time out of your personal life. 

II. Body:

 2Topic Sentences (OT工作這Being,引申出)

 文章【灰底】

1. Overworking yourself can cause a strain (拉緊)on your physical and mental health. (例舉疾病名稱)

Solution: Recharge your body! 

2. Overworking can cause you to perform a poor job performance.

Solution: Get a good night’s sleep!

 

III. Concession 讓步段(Optional)

 

 承認加班有時無可避免,但

 

IV. Conclusion

讓步句

重申(paraphrase能力)

心法:Intro, Conclusion, Elaboration 都可運用【5大鋪墊:現、他、表、理、讓】進行「內容製定」。

【什麼是5大鋪墊? 什麼是讓步段? (廣東話按此)(普通話按此)

 

B) 範文(Target: DSE level 5**/IELTS Score 8 or above)

解讀Key:

【五大鋪墊】 = 【現】現象/現實例子;

【他】他人看法;

【表】個人表述;

【理】道理;

【讓】讓步段/讓步句

   灰底    該段Topic Sentence

綠字可顯示range of vocabulary(參考下表)的字眼變化

 

 

Stop Staying Late At Work! Here’s Why You Need To Leave On Time

 

Paragraph 1

【現】The clock is ticking towards closing time, and every colleague is finishing the last of their tasks for the day. You decide that you want to stay later to be more “advanced” than the others. Everyone grabs their belongings and politely says their goodbyes to you as they leave the office, one by one. Some of your coworkers might think you’re a workaholic (工作狂), while others may notice your outstanding dedication. In your mind, you believe the more you work, the more productive you are. 【表】However, the extra time you put in is taking time out of your personal life. 

停止超時工作這是為什麼你需要準時收工   (原文【直譯】)

【現】鐘錶快要走到收工時間,每位同事正在完成當天的最後工序。你決定想逼留久一點,比其他人更高等。每一位抓著他的隨身物品並禮貌地向你道別,一個又一個,離開辦公室。有一些你的同事可能會覺得你有點「工作狂」,有一些可能會留意到你的突出獻身。在你的思維中,你相信做得越多,即是越有生產力。【表】但是,你所投入的額外時間,是由屬於你的個人人生中,擠出來的。

 

 

Paragraph 2

【讓/表】Work can be overwhelming, but it isn’t worth losing some precious time you will never get back. Even if you believe you are doing a good deed for your workplace, staying later can have deleterious (有害有毒的) effects on your physical and mental health, and it does not increase productivity. 

 

【讓/表】工作可以是壓倒性的(overwhelming)/沉重的,但是,不值得損失那些你永不能重獲的時間。儘管你相信你是為職場做著好事,超時工作可以是對你的肉體及精神健康,帶來有害的影響,而且,也不會提高生產力。

 

 

Physical & Mental Health

Paragraph 3

【理】Overworking yourself can cause an excessive strain (拉緊)on your physical and mental condition Discussing the avalanche (雪崩) of negative effects on health, we found the extra time spent at work can result in fatigue (疲乏), insomnia(失眠), lack of concentration(缺乏集中力), lack of energy (缺乏能量), and even a loss of appetite (喪失食慾). Moreover, it causes high levels of mental stress (精神高壓), anxiety(憂心) and yet depression(抑鬱)

 

【理】過度工作可以導致對肉體與精神狀態的過度拉緊。講到對健康的「雪崩式」負面影響,我們發現這些花在工作上的額外時間會導致疲乏、失眠、缺乏集中力、缺乏能量、甚至喪失食慾。還有這亦會造成高度的精神壓力、憂心、甚至抑鬱。

 

 

Paragraph 4

【他】Some studies indicate extreme work circumstances can cause premature death (過早死亡), especially if your job involves a lot of sitting. Other surveys imply working over 55 hours a week can put you at risk of cardiovascular problems (心血管問題)

 

【他】一些研究指出過度工作的環境導至過早死亡,尤其是如果你的工作涉及長時間的坐著。其他調查有跡象顯示每週工作55小時以上,可以將你推進心血管問題的高危中。

 

 

Paragraph 5

【表】What’s the solution? Recharge your body and spirit, ranging from exercising, resting to spending leisure more.7+3畫解:如何舉例廣東話按此普通話按此 All these are salutary (有益健康的)to both our physical and mental health. If you stay late during the evening without recharging, you will feel tired the next day, as in turn causes you to stay late the next day.7+3畫解:如何用as廣東話按此普通話按此)  Obviously, a vicious cycle will be formed to jeopardize your physical and mental condition.  

 

【表】解決方案可以是什麼?替你的身體、靈魂「充電」,可以是運動、休息、休閒多一點。這些對我們的肉體及精神健康都是有益健康的。如果你遲遲只留在工作間而缺乏「充電」,你在下一天就會感到疲累,於是會順理成章地造成下一天又要超時工作。明顯地,這形成惡性循環,危害你的肉體與精神狀態。

 

 

Decrease in Productivity and Job Performance

Paragraph 6

【理】Overworking can cause you to perform a poor job performance. The more you work, the more sleep-deprived(睡眠被剝奪) you are. Sleep deprivation will cause you to feel sluggish (無精打采的)with little to no energy. Furthermore, it can cause you to lose focus on handling important details in jobs, thus lower your productivity.  

 

【理】超時工作會導致你工作表現差勁。你越工作,你越在剝奪睡眠時間。剝奪睡眠會使你感到無精打采、只剩少量或沒有能量般。還有,這會使你在處理工作的重要細節時,失去焦點,從而降低生產力。

 

 

Paragraph 7

【現】A reduction in productivity also brings an economical burden on businesses. When workers are fatigued(無精打采的)and less productive, they tend to be less motivated. Health care expenses caused by fatigue may cost companies millions of dollars a year.

 

【現】生產力減少可以帶來企業經濟負擔。當工人無精打采及生產力減少時,他們也傾向難以被激勵。因疲累而成的健康護理支出可能花費公司每年數百萬元。

 

 

Paragraph 8

【表】So, are there any antidotes (解藥)? Get a good night’s sleep; detach yourself from work and back home earlier. It is important to have a consistent sleeping schedule during the week to perform your best. There are many apps to track your sleeping habits that will help ensure enough time to rest.7+3畫解:如何用help較好廣東話按此普通話按此  

 

【表】所以,有沒有解藥好好睡個晚間眠、將自己從工作分離出來及早點回家。在整週間,擁有穩定的睡眠時間表對表現你的最好,其實好重要!有很多apps可以追踪你的睡眠習慣,這幫助確保有足夠時間休息。

 

Paragraph 9

【讓】It is undeniable that working overtime is sometimes inescapable in this hectic metropolitan.  Nevertheless, problems resulting from working overtime are ubiquitous (普遍存在的)7+3畫解:resulted from還是resulting from? 廣東話按此普通話按此 and it is worth to stir up a hot introspection(反思) within our society.【表】All in all, learn to set boundaries between work and your personal life. Find time for yourself to relax and reaccess(重新處理) any unbalanced priorities that will cause you to lose sleep at night. Only then will all these be beneficial to your health condition, as well as your working performance in long term.7+3畫解:inversion 究竟如何用? 廣東話按此普通話按此  

 

【讓】不能否認在繁忙的國際都市,超時工作有時是不能避免。但是,因超時工作而成的問題是普遍存在的(ubiquitous),而這值得激起社會中強烈的反思。【表】總而言之,個人生活與工作間要學習定出界線。為自己找出時間去放鬆、重新處理會導致我們晚間失眠的「失衡的優先選項」。可以肯定,這都對我們的健康狀況、我們的長期工作表現有利。

 

Copyrights reserved by Tomato Yip

 

C) Vocabulary pool 字彙庫   

透過7+5音符英語(發音系統)按此幫助你 (數分鐘解說就能應用的Phonics系統)

增強vocab長期記憶、無痛學曉國際拼音 

本範文的Vocab影片教學廣東話按此)(普通話按此

 

 

Ci) VocabularyPhrase worth memorizing

 

7+5音符拼記

【按此:教你點睇7+5短拼音】

國際拼音

workaholic 工作狂

shopaholic 購物狂

alcoholic 酗酒狂

sugarholic 沈迷甜食者

blogaholic 沈迷部落格者

danceaholic 跳舞狂

sexaholic 沈迷於性者

wo̥:rkḁ`hôlîc

shôpḁ`hôlîc

a³lcho̥`hôlîc

sūgḁr`hôlîc

blôgḁ`hôlîc

dânce̥`hôlîc

           sêxḁ`hôlîc

wɜːkəˈhɒlɪk 
ʃɒpəˈhɒlɪk 
ælk
əˈhɒlɪk
ʃʊgəˈhɒlɪk
bl
ɒgəˈhɒlɪk

dɑːnsəˈhɒlɪk
s
ɛksˈəhɒlɪk

avalanche of negativities

雪崩式負面: (疾病vocab) 

 

            `a³vḁlânche̽

 

 

 

 

ˈævəlɑːntʃ

 

fatigue 疲乏

fḁ`tîgū̥

 

fəˈtiːg

insomnia 失眠

în`sômnîḁ

ɪnˈsɒmnɪə

lack of concentration

 缺乏集中力

la³ck ôf côncên`trātion

læk ɒv kɒnsənˈtreɪʃən

loss of appetite 失去食慾

lôss ôf `a³ppetīte̽

lɒɒˈæpɪtaɪt

mental stress  精神高壓

`mêntḁl strêss

ˈmɛtl strɛs

anxiety 憂心

a³n`xīe̥ty

æŋˈzaɪəti

depression 抑鬱

dē`prêssion

dɪˈprɛʃən

cardiovascular problem心血管問題

cârdîo̥`va³scūlḁr

`prôble̥m

ˌkɑːdɪəʊˈvæskjʊlə 

ˈprɒbləm

 

Cii顯示 Range of Vocabulary (Paraphrase能力

 

段落位

7+5音符拼記

國際拼音

colleague  同事 

1st 

`côllēa̽gū̥e

ˈkɒliːg  

coworker 同事

1st 

co`̥wô̥:rke̥r

kəʊˈwɜːkə 

deleterious 有害有毒的

2nd 

dêlē`te̥rîo̥u̽s

dɛlɪˈtɪərɪə

harmful 有害的

問題位

`hârmfūl

ˈhɑːmfʊ

negative 負面的

問題位

`nêgḁtîve̽

ˈnɛgətɪ

jeopardize 危害 (v.)

5th 

`jêo̽pḁrdīze̽

ˈʤɛpədaɪ

salutary 有益健康的

5th 

`sa³lūtḁrŷ

ˈsæljʊtəri 

beneficial 有益的

9th 

bênē`fîciḁl

bɛnɪˈfɪʃə

solutions 方案

5th 

so̥`lūtions

səˈluːʃənz 

remedies 補救法

問題位

`rêmēdîes

ˈrɛmɪdiz

antidotes 解藥

8th 

`a³ntîdōte̽s

ˈæntɪdəʊts

caused by

7th 

cãu̽se̽d by

kɔːzd baɪ

resulting from

 (沒有被動式)

9th 

rē`sûlting frôm

rɪˈzʌltɪŋ frɒm

sluggish 無精打采

6th 

`slūggîsh

ˈslʌgɪʃ

fatigued 無精打采

7th 

fḁ`tîgū̥e̽d

fəˈtiːgd

 

Ciii) Useful Expressions

列舉「負面」事件:

and even…and yet…  甚至更甚

 

3rd 

「雙」研究指出:

Some studies indicate… Other surveys imply…

4th 

舉例句式:

…, ranging from A, B to C

5th 

惡性循環:

a vicious cycle will be formed to jeopardize…

5th

工作可以「很沉重」:

work can be overwhelming 

2nd 

 

範文簡潔版

按此【DSE英文、IELTS寫作範文:Stop Staying Late At Work! Here’s Why You Need To Leave On Time】

 

關於作者 Tomato Yip

創辦了「7+3視覺英語」,透過這個【7句型+3語構的關連系統】同你一起學習中學及大學的【碎片】英文語法,使你有序由淺入深寫出意念複雜的英文句子。無論書寫工作上的電郵/Proposal/大學論文/DSE英文/IELTS考試都能行雲流水。

24 11 月, 2021

範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points Learning English through Workplace

24 11 月, 2021

內容目錄 DSE英文、IELTS寫作範文內容範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points 美國口音誦讀文章DSE英文

24 11 月, 2021

內容目錄 DSE英文、IELTS寫作範文內容範文內容說明詳解、規劃、爆Points 美國口音誦讀文章DSE英文

Page [tcb_pagination_current_page] of [tcb_pagination_total_pages]

>
error: Content is protected !!