DSE 英文 Paper 3 技巧(做卷「思維步驟」詳解)

DSE2017 Paper 3 Task 10: Letter to invite the guest of honour 

 

Write a letter to invite the guest of honour for the Opening Ceremony for the Golden Flower Adventure Mall, using information from the B2 Data file. You do not need to write an address. Write around 100 words.   (13 marks)

 

 

書信型題目在DSE 英文每年都幾乎必考。其評分比重,簡單來說:YOUR OWN WORDS(包括Langauge/Organization/Appropriacy)約佔50%,【得分點數】(Content)另約佔50%。

 

 

很多同學發現在非常有限的時間 內,很難找齊所有【得分點數】(找不夠POINTS),心裡就很不踏實。其實,【得點】數目只需找到一半,如果YOUR OWN WORDS(Language/Organization/ Appropriacy)寫得得宜(因為這裡共佔50%總分)照樣有衝level 5(歷屆平均需得分75%)的可能。

 

 

除了找POINTS,【YOUR OWN WORDS】在得分上,其實更是不容小覷的,而且,是有【現成技巧】可以在試前已經準備好怎樣寫的!

 

這篇文章會分2 PARTS 作取分解說: 

PART I: YOUR OWN WORDS】剖析 (50%佔分)

PART II:  【得分點數】(50%佔分paraphrase剖析 。

 

Conclusion會將PART 1的Answer與 PART 2的Answer合拼,同學們就能清楚知道怎樣可以有效提分(就算在找尋不夠POINTS的情況下!)。  

 

 

 

PART I: YOUR OWN WORDS

 

Step 1: 問自己兩條問題:

自問i. 決定用【3種Writing Tone】的哪一款?

自問ii. 決定用【5種上下款】的哪一款? 

(熟悉的話,3分鐘內就能決定清楚的。)

答案:

自答i. 這篇書信是寫給Ms. Tse,邀請她出席我們開幕典禮的【榮譽嘉賓】,3種Writing Tone 中,以禮節表誠意/客客氣氣口吻較為得宜,我會選擇 Formal Tone。

 

自答ii. 由於對方名字是Mariana Tse,Formal tone只宜提姓不提名,上款用Ms.Tse,下款用Yours Sincerely (因知道對方稱謂)。

 

關於【Writing Tone+上下款 的詳細技巧】:

如想更深人了解如何決定3種Writing Tone+5種上下款,【按此:Writing Tone 與上下款】,這篇文章解說得更仔細。

 

 

Step 2: 制訂合符Writing Tone的「思維草稿」

以【書信4元素】作為內容公式,套入 【按此:商業書信內容的「百搭公式」】

1.【目】目的、

2. 【介】介紹、

3. 【說】動〉與〈態〉的說明、

4. 【盼】盼望

 

從而制訂potential「思維」草稿【佔總分50%的寫作技巧】—

YOUR OWN WORDS(Content點數部份草稿大概如下: 

Dear Ms. Tse,

 

【目】I am writing to invite you 【介】to be xxxx. 

 

【說】〈行〉The ceremony will be held on xxxx. It would be our pleasure if you could xxxx. 〈心〉As we know that xxxx 〈心〉your passion to protect the marine creatures aligns with what we are used to.  (按此: 7+3語法畫解-are used to 後面無跟object?)

 

〈心〉We, the DPP, are confident that our commitment to worldwide environmental protection shall make us an ideal companion to work together.  〈行〉xxxx〈行〉We are also dedicated to doing (按此: 7+3語法畫解-dedicated to do?/doing?)things xxxx. 【盼】〈行〉Should you be our guest of honour at the opening ceremony… xxxx 

 

〈心〉We genuinely hope that you could consider our invitation. 

We are looking forward to receiving your kind reply.

 

Yours sincerely,

Gehry Zhang

Dragon Peak Properties 

 

 

以上的內客制訂,我只須知道2件事:

1. 我的target是邀請一個社會上有名氣的人;

2. 我知道這人對環保有passion,跟我們機構一樣。

這些從Listening/ Task requirement已經有背景知曉了,這個draft要【作】出來其實不難!只要配合到以下的Writing tone技巧

 

 

Writing Tone 用詞技巧 解說:

在還沒有找CONTENT POINTS前,我大概已經有以上的Formal Tone「思維草稿」:

1. 善用Passive: e.g. The ceremony will be held on xxxx

2. 適當用【助動詞】:e.g. …if you could xxxx(could是不給壓力的「建議」,而不用would)。

3. Conditional Inversion: e.g. Should you be our guest of honour at the opening ceremony….,給人不Casual的感覺。

4. 用字【恭敬】:

e.g. It would be our pleasure… (不是用we are happy to…)

e.g. We are looking forward to receiving your kind reply. (不是用We hope to get…)

5. 禮貌顯【誠懇】

e.g. We are also dedicated to doing…(顯出誠懇)

e.g. We… are confident that our commitment to…(顯出誠懇)

We genuinely hope(顯出誠懇) that you could consider our invitation. 

 

這些在【按此:7+3視覺英語:商業書信課程】有詳細教授。

 

 

基本上,現在在什麼POINTS都未找到之前,已經能有把握在【YOUR OWN WORDS】(Content點數部份這50%分數中,能取得不俗分數。

 

 

Step 3: 邊寫邊paraphrase找到的POINTS

考試時間有限,Step 2你只要有一個「思維草稿」而已 (先不要真正「寫出來」,無時間的!) 現在一邊找POINTS,一邊將篇書信答案【寫】出來!

 

 

關於找到的POINTS,應該如何Paraphrase(改寫),會在以下PART II解說。

關於【YOUR OWN WORDS】的英文基本功:

DSE Eng Paper 3 的integrated skills,說穿了,就是考大家【將writing ideas 組裝】【7個句型+3種語構】的能夠「視覺化」的語法思維,其好處:

1. 可以將ideas 組裝得error-free; 

2. 可以將ideas 組裝得更diverse,

 

而且100%英文世界,都歸納到7條句型公式、3種語構顏色以遵循,非常容易「熟能生巧」!

【按此什麼是為7+3視覺英語】

 

 

 

PART II: 「得點數目」(Content) paraphrase

 

根據歷屆DSE Eng出題習慣,Content 分只佔該題總分50%。這題總分為13分,即Content佔7分-8分左右 (按此歷屆DSE 英文Paper 3 Content【佔分比】統計)以每「得點佔1分」的出題習慣,推論出:

 

這條題目只需找出7-8點,就ok了。

 

關於CONTENT的【得分POINTS】,很多同學問: 從data file找到後,照抄可以嗎? 這個問題就視乎你的「奪level目標」了。

 

對一些DSE Eng目標只是level 2-3的同學來說,找到【得分POINTS】後照抄而不paraphrase,是有好處的—好處是:

 

1. 能穩建地「拿足CONTENT Points分」(因為對一些程度不高的同學來說,paraphrase會使POINT走樣,而使評卷者認不出該POINT而漏給分數);

 

2. 將花在paraphrase的可能時間,轉而花在找【得分POINTS】中,可能更能穩健提分;

 

對一些DSE Eng目標只是level 3-5的同學來說,為省時間,我建議作少量simple paraphrase即可,一般遵從這3個基本原則:

1. 代詞/名詞配上

2. 詞類稍作改變、

3 .時態恰當改變。

(專有名詞/名稱 一般不須改動)

 

而對目標是level 5以上的同學來說,可以再加上:

4. 形容語加/

5.修飾語 加/【加強說服力!】…)

6. 句型變化

 

 

** 得分POINTS的「改寫(paraphrase)」對不同部份取分的影響

只會於【YOUR OWN WORDS】中的Language部份,起錦上添花的提分作用。Paraphrase與否是不會直接影響Content部份的得點分數。

 

雖然如此,少量的Simple paraphrase 還是高度建議的!(可參考以下示範)

 

 

Paraphrase 示範與原理

 

1st 得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版: the guest of honour for the Opening Ceremony for the Golden Flower Adventure Mall

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

our guest of honour for the Opening Ceremony for the Golden Flower Adventure Mall. 

 

方法

theour (【代詞】配上)

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

our guest of honour at the Opening Ceremony of the Golden Flower Adventure Mall. 

 

方法

【代詞】配上,也改了prep. (改動修飾語)

 

 

其實,如果PART I的【YOUR OWN WORDS(Content得點部份)寫得好PART II【得點部份】只用Simple paraphrase,都已經可以衝level 5或以上的了。上面的Tactful paraphrase是給英語根底較了得(目標為Level 5*/Level 5**)的同學參考的。

 

 

2nd  得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版: the first person to swim in the new pool as a way of declaring it open

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

the first to swim in the new pool as a way of declaring it open

 

方法

the first person 改成the first (詞類改變)

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

the first to swim in the golden Flower Adventure Mall pool so as to declare it open

 

方法: 詞類改變  / pool 前加名詞定語(形容語) / modifier換成so as to

 

 

3rd   得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版: … 2018…It was decided that 24th December would be the best 

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

we decided that 24th December would be the best to hold the ceremony. 

方法

 代詞/名詞配上

 

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

The ceremony will be held on 24th December, 2018. 

 

方法: 

補回S+用了將來式(被動)/配合Formal tone的句型

 

 

4th  得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版:  Mariana is a keen swimmer

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

You are a keen swimmer

方法

代詞/名詞配上

 

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

you are keen on swimming

 

方法: keen 改成keen on / swimmer改成swimming

 

 

 

5th  得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版: love snorkelling… diving …being up close…personal with all the marine life

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

love snorkelling, diving, being up close and personal with all the marine life

 

方法

代詞/名詞配上

 

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

love being up-close and being personal with all sorts of marine habitants 

方法: 用了兩組being +adj. 作排比/all改寫成all sorts of/ marine 改成marine habitants

名詞marine life其實一般都不必改動,改動之只是用來「錦上添花」衝頂而已。

 

 

6th   得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版DPP… have donated a substantial sum of money to the Save the Great Barrier Reef in Australia 

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

We have donated a substantial sum of money to the Save the Great Barrier Reef in Australia 

 

方法

代詞/名詞配上

 

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

We have given a great deal of money to an institution, the Save the Great Barrier Reef, in Australia lately. 

 

方法: DPP改成we/ donated改成given/  a substantial sum of 改成a great deal of/加上aninstitution/加上修飾語lately

機構「名稱」: ‘the Save the Great Barrier Reef’不必改動。

 

 

7th    得分POINT (佔1分)

照抄

(目標:level 2-3)

原版HK$100,000 … using the the fees budget to make a donation to the charity of Ms Tse’s choice 

 

 

方法:

照抄

Simple paraphrase

(目標:level 3-5)

We will use the the fees budget to make a donation to the charity of your choice 

 

方法

代詞/名詞配上+恰當時態(將來式)

 

Tactful paraphrase

(目標:level 5以上)

you would be offered an alternative to donate your honour fees we originally budgeted, totalling HK$100,000, to any charity of your choice.

 

方法: you would be offered an alternative (善用被動式保持formal tone以提高appropriacy方面的分數)/donation改成donate加回具體代名詞you, yourany替代the

 

 

 

CONCLUSION: PART I+PART II合併

 

Keys to the answer: 

紅色-書信【內容5元素】

黑色- 【YOUR OWN WORDS】

籃色– CONTENT POINTS  

 

 

 

Score targeted:  level 5或以上

 

Dear Ms. Tse,

 

【目】I am writing to invite you 【介】to be the guest of honour at the Opening Ceremony of the Golden Flower Adventure Mall.  (1)

 

【說】〈行〉The ceremony will be held on 24th December, 2018. (1). It would be our pleasure if you could be the first to swim in the golden Flower Adventure Mall pool so as to declare it open (1)〈心〉As we know that you are keen on swimming (1) and love being up-close and being personal with all sorts of marine life  (1)〈心〉your passion to protect the marine creatures aligns with what we are used to.  

 

〈心〉We, the DPP, are confident that our commitment to worldwide environmental protection (not only confined to Hong Kong) shall make us an ideal companion to work together.  〈行〉We have given a great deal of money to an institution, the Save the Great Barrier Reef,  in Australia lately. (1) 〈行〉We are also dedicated to doing things preserving the coral for future generations. 【盼】〈行〉Should you be our guest of honour at the opening ceremony, you would be offered an alternative to donate your honour fees we originally budgeted, totalling HK$100,000, to any charity of your choice. (1) 

 

〈心〉We genuinely hope that you could consider our invitation. 

We are looking forward to receiving your kind reply.

 

Yours sincerely,

Gehry Zhang

Dragon Peak Properties 

 

 

* Formal Tone的【YOUR OWN WORDS】制訂得宜與否,關鍵在套入【內容5元素時】:

1. 能否寫出〈行〉(我與對象的具體「行動」)?

2. 有沒考慮〈心〉(我與對象的可能「心態」)?

 

這2個【YOUR OWN WORDS】制訂原則:〈行〉+〈心〉,可以應用在任何年份的Paper 3商業書信中。

關於作者 Tomato Yip

創辦了「7+3視覺英語」,透過這個【7句型+3語構的關連系統】同你一起學習中學及大學的【碎片】英文語法,使你有序由淺入深寫出意念複雜的英文句子。無論書寫工作上的電郵/Proposal/大學論文/DSE英文/IELTS考試都能行雲流水。

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